The last few days of Kuya Binchy may have revealed many different faces that surprised different groups of friends and loved ones.
Our family, surely, had the surprise of our lives when we saw the video of him channeling Denny Terio. For to us – his family – Kuya was the silent but solid, steady and dependable rock. One who never failed to choose the loving path – especially in the last few years of his life.
To his officemates he was the silent worker – the guy who would do anything and everything to get the job done, while giving the impression of underachieving (because he seemed to have mastered the skill of evading the spotlight – even with his good looks, smarts and charm).
To the people whom the society would rank “lower” than him (his staff, the workers of his clients, et al) he was a down-to-earth, caring fellow-worker – just one of the guys.
To his CCF family he was a brother who had to go through a long and arduous journey in making God the center of his life; one who exemplified how this could be done even through all the darkness, the lows, the trials and weaknesses with which man seems to be burdened.
To his badminton friends, he was the happy-go-lucky master smasher who made winning look so easy and fun.
To his Upsilon brods (especially his kabatches) he was the one to whom one can freely share silent (manly ☺) tears and rip-roaring laughter – one who would drop everything to be there - with just one holler.
To his traveling/partying/drinking group mates – he was known as someone who could play REAL hard.
To the women in whom he was interested, he was Mr. Suave – the silent operator who made them feel like they were the most beautiful, precious gift that God gave the world; the one who would go through such impossible lengths for love.
So the surprise came when all of us got together and exchanged notes.
To a lot of people, he was a Vidoeke King, who would hog the microphone. Just 2 days ago, I discovered that one of his favorite pieces is a Backstreet Boys tune (KUUUUUUUUYYYYYY!!!!!! Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!).
I know that some still find the image of the singing-Binchy hard to conjure, but in the past year (more or less), this Videoke King had also joyfully took part in singing worship songs – holding his own against the seasoned clapper-belters. O yea doubters – take the word of this witness, who actually did a double take whenever this phenomenon happened. Used to get me shaking my head in amazement every time ☺
He was also a flashy performer – the clown who would entertain groups of people with silly antics and stories.
He also was not as torpe as he let on. Deadly pala with manligaw at magparamdam!!! Self-professed ladies’ men could stand to learn a thing or two from my Kuya on how to be a smooth operator.
I know for a fact that he was scared of getting into a relationship, with all the responsibility – and possible hurt – loving someone brought with it. Yet I discovered just a few days ago that he’s expressed his desire and readiness (excitement, even!) in once again finding love, committing and tying the knot.
A lot of people seem to have been surprised to learn that he was a strict authority-figure who can elicit much fear. One of his close friends said he had forgotten this side of Binchy – I assure you… sinusunod si Kuya… nanginginig pa! Tanungin mo pa kahit sino sa pamilya.
Yes, K’Binch was full of surprises. I am blessed to have been privy to most of his different lives (more by the accident of having a small world, than by design – THANK YOU, UNIVERSE!), yet in the past weeks, each conversation with his friends still brought on an “Ows?! Talaga?! Hindi ‘nga?!” moment.
All these are superficial, though. At the core, everyone who had the privilege to love and be loved by K’Binch knew the essentials of his soul.
He loved God; followed His will. He lifted all things to him; praised and thanked Him for everything. Binchy did not claim any honor for himself. Whenever any of his merits were pointed out – he would point up to heaven, redirecting the acknowledgement to where it should be. Rightfully.
He was consistently compassionate. The goodness and beauty of his heart were very apparent in every act.
He empathized with EVERYONE. He never passed any judgment on anyone– even when everyone else around him did. (Believe me. I know.)
He was generous. With his material possessions. His time. Himself.
He was always passionate. At work. At play (table-tennis when he was younger; badminton as a grown-up). In love.
He loved to laugh. He appreciated both the most inane and most profound of jokes – in all shapes and forms. Everyone in his life had been blessed to have witness the almost-falling-off-his-chair-with-knee-slap-tummy-grip-pained-espression-and-body-shake laughter that could last longer than was deemed socially acceptable. I bet people could still hear his crazy-silly neighing-hingalo-laughter in their minds… and hearts.
He loved to eat. He was a favorite of lolas, moms, wives and cooks of family and friends, because he was never shy in showing his appreciation for food. It was always a joy to cook for him. (A short digression: The morning of his attack, he ran late in starting his day because he just finished his fasting and finally indulged. Our Manang Flor’s final memory of Kuya alive is him spooning – nay, shoveling – food down his mouth and saying “Hmmmm…. Sarap kumain!”)
He was antukin. He used to sleep at work. During parties. During programs. He’s even slept at the wheel several times. Slept while waiting. Slept while watching TV. On our way home from the last service he attended, he sheepishly said something like, “Jahe… nakatulog ako… malalim… sobrang pagod, eh!”
Indeed. It is universally known that Jeremy Richard Villavicencio Mayuga – Binchy – loved to sleep. Yet, of all the people I have been privileged to love, he was the most awake. He was one of the very few who had the courage to stay awake through the hardest times, when it would have been so easy to close his eyes – even to feign sleep – through the darkness that the pains of life brought him. He was awake enough to realize that the most important is love.
The proof is in his reward.
He is now in and with God. He no longer has to point up to heaven to give praise. He is enveloped by it. By Him.
I do not aim to idealize my brother. I know that he, too, was human. I know that a lot of people have been witness to his pain; a number have been caused pain by him. Through it all, he struggled to keep his eyes vigilantly open and focused on his ultimate goal – the goal of each and everyone of us. Si kuya – ever the antukin – was fully awake.
Now, at last, he sleeps.
“Good job, Kuy!”
“No, Beeps, it’s all God.”
Indeed. Praise God.
PS:
The great thinkers and livers-of-life seem to all reach the same realization. This following piece was sent by my Tita Cristie to us with a note saying how true it was of K’Binch. I am not quite sure if the attribution is accurate, but I share it just the same.
If God, for a second, forgot what I have become and
granted me a little bit more of life, I would use it
to the best of my ability.
I wouldn’t, possibly, say everything that is in my
mind, but I would be more thoughtful of all I say. I
would give merit to things not for what they are
worth, but for what they mean to express.
I would sleep little, I would dream more, because I
know that for every minute that we close our eyes, we
waste 60 seconds of light.
I would walk while others stop; I would awake while
others sleep.
If God would give me a little bit more of life, I
would dress in a simple manner, I would place myself
in front of the sun, leaving not only my body, but my
soul naked at its mercy.
To all men, I would say how mistaken they are when
they think that they stop falling in love when they
grow old, without knowing that
they grow old when they stop falling in love.
I would give wings to children, but I would leave it
to them to learn how to fly by themselves.
To old people I would say that death doesn’t arrive
when they grow old, but with forgetfulness.
I have learned so much with you all, I have learned
that everybody wants to live on top of the mountain,
without knowing that true
happiness is obtained in the journey taken & the form
used to reach the top of the hill.
I have learned that when a newborn baby holds, with
its little hand, his father’s finger, it has trapped
him for the rest of his life.
I have learned that a man has the right and obligation
to look down at another man, only when that man needs
help to get up from the ground.
Say always what you feel, not what you think. If I
knew that today is the last time that that I am going
to see you asleep, I would hug you with all my
strength and I would pray to the Lord to let me be the
guardian angel of your soul.
If I knew that these are the last moments to see you,
I would say ‘I love you’.
There is always tomorrow, and life gives us another
opportunity to do things right, but in case I am
wrong, and today is all that is left to me, I would
love to tell you how much I love you & that I will
never forget you.
Tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone, young or old.
Today could be the last time to see your loved ones,
which is why you mustn’t wait; do it today, in case
tomorrow never arrives.
I am sure you will be sorry you wasted the opportunity
today to give a smile, a hug, a kiss, and that you
were too busy to grant them their last wish.
Keep your loved ones near you; tell them in their ears
and to their faces how much you need them and love
them. Love them and treat them
well; take your time to tell them ‘I am sorry’;’
forgive me’,’ please’, ‘thank you’, and all those
loving words you know.
Nobody will know you for your secret thought. Ask the
Lord for wisdom and strength to express them.
Show your friends and loved ones how important they
are to you.
Send this letter to those you love. If you don’t do it
today…tomorrow will be like yesterday, and if you
never do it, it doesn’t matter either, the moment to
do it is now.
For you,
With much love,
Your Friend,
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
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